I lost my blogging mojo for a little while. Im not entirely sure why. Maybe I was all blogged out by NaBloPoMo. Perhaps it was a lack of things to write about, but no, I still write in other places. More a lack of the right things, appropriate for this space, to write about. And a sudden awareness of it all, making me feel a little bashful and quite nervous about writing in this way, so openly. Writing like I do here is very against my character, being naturally guarded and introverted. But then again, maybe this is my antidote.
2012 was seen in quietly here. The best way. And rather shockingly, five year old J managed to stay up past midnight to watch fireworks (though there were overtired tears when bedtime came). I’m not really one for New Years resolutions, but I do like to reflect on life and this year have simply decided to be more aware of making the right choices. Whether that be choosing not to eat that biscuit, choosing to do that job now rather than later, or choosing to just fight that little bit harder for what I want. I would like to live more in the moment, but looking towards making a better future. Ah, a New Year! Fresh starts, big dreams, new beginnings.
I started this year with the end of my temporary work contract, so my days have been a little slow. Coming back to a quiet home after the school run to eat my breakfast in wonderful silence is something I had missed. I put on music to potter about the house to. Cleaning, tidying and prettifying our family space. Its a simple way of life. Though still stressful a lot of the time, it has a tranquility about it. But it does get boring, its very monotonous, and there is a certain lonliness in spending my days like this. A change of scenery is important every now and then, whether it be lunch with a friend or simply getting out into the garden every once in a while. Its no fun being a stay at home mother when your child is at school for the majority of the day, though I’m not averse to spending time alone. I would love to become self employed one way or the other and I hope that happens soon, and as smoothly as possible.
My boy continues to make me proud, and to make me smile. He came home from school last week with this photograph in his bookbag, and told me he was “doing a big cheese.” He’s the best.