We’ve barely been to the park all winter until this week. He’s learned to climb while I haven’t been watching. Higher and higher he went, more and more daring his stunts, testing the apparatus, using it in ways it wasn’t built to be used. Fearless while I sat quaking, wanting to rush forwards and stand beneath should he fall. I let him explore. Watched him test his limits, which are too far for me to want to think about but I found that he does know when its too to high or too difficult and he will stop on his own when it gets too dangerous. He knows how far is too far. Its how they learn after all. About trust, strength, danger, defeat and a whole lot of other stuff in between.
I remember three years ago, a similar view. Watching a chubby little nappy clad bottom as he struggled up every step like it was a small mountain. My, how he has come along (two at a time, in leaps and bounds) but he still climbs with the same determination. His mountains are much higher these days and they’re only going to get higher that’s for sure. Who knows, perhaps one day they will be mountains.
As I watched him, I thought of all the little, day to day things which I worry about him and I wondered whether I really need to. Look at him! Boisterous, confident and full of energy, just look at him go! And just as I was turning this thought around my mind, he came over to request “little pushes on the kid swings”, and that’s what its all about at the moment. He’s discovering his independence and I’m taking a big step back into the background but every now and then I take a little step forwards again for him. And yes, I will continue to worry about those little things. That’s what mothers are there for isn’t it? To take care of the little worries for him so he can put all of his energy into climbing a little bit higher.