To My Son – On Your First Day Of School

Off you went this morning, with hardly a glance backwards, to grow and learn and discover all on your own. “You’re going to have so much fun” I said, and I didnt mean just today, I meant in your life. Because its the first step.  Everyday you change a little, grow a little and become a little more independent. And every day, my heart breaks a little but I am at the same time filled with pride and joy. We have had almost five years together and now it is time for you to begin to find your own way.

I miss you sometimes. I miss the baby, the two year old, the preschooler. But each time one stage finishes, each time another you comes along who is a little different to the last and a lot different to the first, there is so little time to mourn the passing because it is overshadowed by excitement and wonder for what is to come next. I’m letting go. Little by little. Seeing you forever changing and growing, and trying to keep up with you. It happens so slowy I dont notice until I think back to something you used to do, something you used to say, or just how you used to be half an inch smaller. It is bitter sweet, and amazing.

Mothering you has taught me so much. Yes, didnt you know that? You’ve taught me things too. We will continue to hang out together and learn together. But now it is time for you to reach out ever so slowly but ever so certainly from infancy and innocence to begin to discover the world all by yourself. Tiny that you still seem to me.

Watching you grow and helping you to become all that you can be is the most wonderful thing I will ever do. I wasnt far out of school myself when you came along, and you taught me to grow up a lot. Now it is my turn to teach you. I won’t be there by your side so much anymore, but I’m right behind you all the way.

Be good, be kind, be brave. Be confident and patient, but most of all enjoy. xx

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This entry was posted in About J, Learning & Growing, On Motherhood, Young Mum and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to To My Son – On Your First Day Of School

  1. worldofamummy says:

    That’s lovely – it’s how I feel. When I got Ben dressed for school he looked like a baby playing dress up to me. It’s weird that this is a part of their life where we have so little control, I feel happy to call the nursery and demand a detailed conversation about what he did as I pay for it can take him (and my money) elsewhere but with school – that’s it, they’re on their own with us for emotional support.

    Hope he had a fab first day. x

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