I often question why I cant be better at the things I do, and its most probably because I am doing too much. Im a mother, a lover, a student, a friend. I play netball, I sew and make things, I cook, I take photographs, I run and keep fit, I make a home, I read, I write.
I wonder why Im not faster and more accurate with my netball. I wonder why my photographs arent getting as good as Id like them to be. I wonder why I dont have the time and patience to learn better sewing skills. I wonder why my writing here isnt better written and as often written as I think it should be. I love doing all of these things, but I dont have the energy to put my all into every one of them. If I want to be better, or considered brilliant at any one of these things, then I will have to give up some of the others. The answer, I have found, is to enjoy the time spent on these things, enjoy the learning processes and not worry when something doesnt turn out perfect or Im not performing my best. I dont want to give any of these pastimes up. I enjoy doing them and thats where I sometimes go wrong, that I concentrate on how good I am at something and forget to just enjoy doing it.
Prioritising is something I have to force myself to stop and think about sometimes and if too much of my energy is going into something, or worrying about something, I have to force myself to change my perception or let it go. Its a difficult life process but Im getting there. And as always, the people in my life come first. Spending quality time nurturing relationships is much more important than striving for perfection in the things I do. Sometimes, its okay to just be good at something, and enjoy doing it, without having to be exceptional. Sometimes its okay to just be average and I think Im discovering that its a much more happy and relaxed place to be. Doing it all? Having it all? being the best? Not so important in the grand scheme of things.