Its the first time I have ever felt old, or older, on a birthday. I suddenly feel no longer young, no longer naive, no longer a girl. Its a good thing. Ive been a mother for over four years, and I finally feel like this is ok in the eyes of society. I feel a sort of relief that I am no longer considered so young, that I can now start to be seen as the woman I have felt I am for years. “Its all downhill from here” a friend’s mum commented recently. I will probably realise that this is true eventually, but for now I dont see it that way at all. I feel a new sense of adventure, and a thirst for the experience and knowledge I will aquire as my youth is left behind and I grow older. I feel stronger, more resilient and courageous.
Birthdays as an adult are never like they were as a child, where the excitement would build until the night before when time would almost come to a standstill and after sleep, if any was managed, being woken to the magnificent sight of an assortment of wrapped presents and the whole family gathering together in the evening for food and cake and celebration.
But celebrate I still did. With breakfast in bed (another tick on the day zero list). Who doesnt like breakfast in bed, a full english made with love, and fresh orange juice. Its been two years since my last, and my, it was good. And in the evening, eating out at a chinese buffet until I could eat no more, and then an ice cream and a film. Birthdays may not be like they were years ago, but they are still good.
In two days, my brother comes home for christmas and for a short while, the family will all be in one place again. Its not often it happens, but I always look forward to it. I am much more excited about this than turning twenty two.