Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of protecting him from all that is bad in the world.
Knowing that I wont always be able to is the hardest thing of all to accept. It makes me feel powerless. I want my son to learn about life and have adventures of his own as he grows. But he must make mistakes and he will find himself in scary places. I will do the best I can to prepare him for everything which may come his way. It’s what being a mother is all about, really. I made him. And now I must watch over him.
A poem someone gave to me when I most needed it, which I will give to him when he is old enough:
Oh, the places you’ll go! There’s fun to be done!
There are points to be scored, there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball,
Will make you the winningest winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be as famous as can be,
With the whole wide world watching you on tv.
Except that they dont,
Because, sometimes, they wont.
I’m afraid that sometimes you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you cant win cause you’ll play against you.
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, theres a very good chance,
You’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road, between hither and yon,
That will scare you so much, you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go,
On and on you will hike.
And I know you’ll hike far,
And face up to your problems, whatever they are.
The photograph was taken during my first summer of single motherhood. His nut brown tan and white blonde hair remind me of myself in the summer as a little girl.